?

Log in

No account? Create an account

deborahtalespin

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
Here's the outline for my next story. The outline is about 1,100 words; the story will probably be about five times that. I have to have it done by Wednesday morning, to be critiqued on Thursday by Shawna McCarthy, editor of "Realms of Fantasy." I really want this one to be good, so I'm trying to take as much care as possible at every stage of the writing process. Feedback is welcome, especially pertaining to structure, theme, character arc, and ending (is it both surprising and inevitable?)

Thanks!


Orpheus's Requiem OutlineCollapse )
* * *
400 words longer, and hopefully better. I just turned it in; it'll be discussed on wednesday. But I still welcome thoughts and criticisms.

The Candy Shop QuartetteCollapse )

* * *
I started this story during Laurie J. Marks' lecture last Friday, I finished it last night, and I'm going to submit it tomorrow morning for critiquing with Robert J. Sawyer. Rob's an awesome teacher and an excellent critiquer/editor, but he's a tad on the brutal side--he made one person cry in class today, and another came close. I want to impress him (not to mention the rest of the class, though i haven't been letting myself focus on that) so PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK! Don't worry, it's short, only 1200 words (7 pages). And it's formatted to the best of my ability.







The Candy Shop QuartetteCollapse )
* * *
My first real attempt at horror, and a lengthy one. Formatting to come. Comments more than welcome.

Nitemare: part 1Collapse )

* * *


Deborah e. Sacks
07.02.06
Journal Entry 3.3: Surprise Plot



Scene 1: Father and daughter rent an old house out in the woods from a creepy landlady. The house is available immediately and the landlady asks no questions, just takes first month’s rent in cash.


Scene 2: next morning, daughter goes off to school, father starts to unpack, house acts all weird…little things at first, items go missing, water mysteriously turns on, then bigger things, stairs breaking, buggy wiring almost electrocutes him in the shower. Storm comes up and man starts hallucinating about people who have died in the past.


Scene 3: Daughter gets home from school that night; all weirdness seems to go away. Man is convinced he imagined it all, stress from recent divorce, etc. They have nice family dinner, daughter misses mom, dad says they’ll be fine, “just the two of us.”


Scene 4: late at night, dad really misses mom, goes into daughter’s room and molests her. When she protests, “Not again, daddy, please!” the madness hits him again, and he rapes her, and the house kills him.


Scene 5: daughter and landlady. Landlady confirms the house is haunted, but it’s the good guy—it only hurts those who are evil.
* * *
* * *
Deborah e. Sacks
07.02.06
Journal Entry 3.2: Backwards Plot

Story: Nitemares


Climax: defeating the “Nitemare” demons that are threatening to take over the high school. I want the climax to have a very intense effect, with building fear and anxiety over the outcome, leading to relief at the success.


Necessary characters: Sarah the protagonist, Kim the best friend, Meredith the love interest, and Griffon, the sage/guide/shaman. Sarah is a fairly typical high school senior worrying about homework and college applications; Kim has self-esteem issues and an overactive libido, Meredith is the new guy on campus with strong Wiccan abilities, Griffin is the mysterious punk-shaman who knows how to solve the problem but doesn’t have enough power on his own to do so. Kim has been Wiccan for three years and just introduced Sarah to the craft.


To authenticate the climax and give it the impact I want I must dramatize the initial discovery of the Nitemares, the first attack, the necessity of seeking out greater help (Griffin) and the Nitemares following Sarah around, all while showing enough of the characters to make them interesting and rounded and sympathetic. I must set up the Nitemare’s power and malevolence, so the threat feels real, and I also want to set up the other aspects in Sarah’s life so that the mystery of how real the Nitemares are remains.


The questions I want to raise are: what are the Nitemares, are they real, where do they come from, what threat do they pose, and how do we get rid of them. I want the climax to answer all but “are they real.”


I believe five scenes are necessary to achieve this: 1) Sarah initially feels the Nitemares, 2) Sarah at home working on homework and avoiding college applications, feels the Nitemares there, 3) Sarah, Meredith and Kim suffer the first Nitemare attack, Sarah realizes Nitemares are following her, Meredith suggests seeking out Griffin, 4) Climax—under Griffin’s guidance, Sarah summons all the Nitemares; she and Meredith and Kim trap the Nitemares in a “holding stone” of Griffin’s, which develops a crack, 5) afterwards, Sarah at home, ponders reality of Nitemares, starts work on her college apps.
* * *
Man, I love writing a 20 minute story...and having it be something that might be good. It's only 375 words; I'd welcome any feedback. Mostly I want to make sure it's clear what's going on. I may or may not workshop this--it could be too short to be worth it, and i'm not sure if it really challanged me.

RebirthCollapse )

* * *
Deborah e. Sacks
06.28.06
Journal Entry 3.1: The Quick Plot



Sarah and Tabby both wanted it. Sarah had claimed it first, but Tabby had dominance. They stared at each other, frozen and alert, poised for any glimmer of weakness. Sarah’s ear flickered. Tabby’s nose twitched. A tiny sparkle in the air, and Sarah jumped for the dusty mote of sunshine. Tabby seized victory and pounced, tail sticking straight out behind her. “Squeak!” went the plastic mouse. Sarah turned up her nose and retreated beneath the sofa, where she’d hidden a sock puppet earlier that morning.

* * *
My latest story, edited once, to be critiqued on Thursday. It's a bit under 6,000 words, 30 pages. Comments welcome--especially concerning characterization and emotional impact. Cut and formatted for your convienence.




The Price of PeaceCollapse )




Um, if you could leave me a note, letting me know if you actually read or even skim this, I would appriciate knowing. otherwise i'll stop bothering to format it.
* * *
Isn't it pretty? Admire, admire!
* * *
* * *

Previous